Sometimes a man begins to love in jest,
And after feels the torment he possess't.
For your own sakes be pitiful, ye fair,
For a feign'd passion may a true prepare.
By flatteries we prevail on womankind,
As hollow banks by streams are undermin'd:
Tell her her face is fair, her eyes are sweet;
Her taper fingers praise, and little feet.
Such praises e'en the chaste are pleas'd to hear;
Both maids and matrons hold their beauty dear.
Once naked Pallas with Jove's queen appear'd,
And still they grieve that Venus was preferr'd.
Praise the proud peacock, and lie spreads his train:
Be silent, and lie pulls it in again.
Pleas'd is the courser in his rapid race;
Applaud his running, and he mends his pace.
But largely promise and devoutly swear,
And, if need be, call ev'ry god to hear.
Jove sits above, forgiving with a smile
The perjuries that easy maids beguile.
He swore to Juno by the Stygian lake;
Forsworn, lie dares not an example make,
Or punish falsehood, for his own dear sake.
'Tis for our interest the gods should be;
Let us believe them; I believe they see,
And both reward and punish equally.
Not that they live above like lazy drones,55
Or kings below, supine upon their thrones;
Lead then your lives as present in their sight;
Be just in dealings, and defend the right;
By fraud betray not, nor oppress by might.
But 'tis a venial sin to cheat the fair;
All men have liberty of conscience there.
On cheating nymphs a cheat is well design'd,
'Tis a profane and a deceitful kind.56
'Tis said that Egypt for nine years was dry,
Nor Nile did floods, nor heav'n did rain supply.
That slaughter'd guests would kindly moisture bring.
The king replied, "On thee the lot shall fall;
Be thou, my guest, the sacrifice for all."
Thus Phalaris Perillus taught to low,
And made him season first the brazen cow.
A rightful doom, the laws of nature cry,
'Tis, the artificers of death should die.
Thus justly women suffer by deceit,
Their practice authorises us to cheat.
Beg her, with tears, thy warm desires to grant;
For tears will pierce a heart of adamant.
If tears will not be squeezed, then rub your eye,
Or 'noint the lids, and seem at least to cry.
Kiss, if you can; resistance if she make,
And will not give you kisses, let her take.
" Fy, fy, you naughty man," are words of course;
She struggles but to be subdu'd by force.
Kiss only soft, I charge you, and beware
With your hard bristles not to brush the fair.
He who has gain'd a kiss, and gains no more,
Deserves to lose the bliss he got before.
If once she kiss, her meaning is exprest;
There wants but little pushing for the rest;
Which if thou dost not gain, by strength or art,
The name of clown then suits with thy desert;
'Tis downright dulness, and a shameful part.
Perhaps she calls it force, but if she 'scape,
She will not thank you for th' omitted rape.
The sex is cunning to conceal their fires;
They would be forc'd e'en to their own desires.
They seem t' accuse you with a down-cast sight,
But in their souls confess you did them right.
Who might be forc'd, and yet untouch'd depart,
Thank with their tongues, but curse you with their heart.
Fair Phoebe and her sister did prefer,
To their dull mates, the noble ravisher.57
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