Poem 5
He describes a certain journey of his from Rome to Brundusium with great pleasantry.
HAVING45 left mighty Rome, Aricia received me in but a middling inn: Heliodorus the rhetorician, most learned in the Greek language, was my fellow-traveler: thence we proceeded to Forum-Appi, stuffed with sailors and surly landlords. This stage, but one for better travelers46 than we, being laggard we divided into two; the Appian way is less tiresome to bad travelers. Here I, on account of the water, which was most vile, proclaim war against my belly, waiting not without impatience for my companions while at supper.
Now the night was preparing to spread her shadows upon the earth, and to display the constellations in the heavens. Then our slaves began to be liberal of their abuse to the watermen, and the watermen to our slaves. "Here bring to." "You are stowing in hundreds; hold, now sure there is enough."
Thus while the fare is paid, and the mule fastened, a whole hour is passed away. The cursed gnats, and frogs of the fens, drive off repose. While the waterman and a passenger, well-soaked with plenty of thick wine, vie with one another in singing the praises of their absent mistresses: at length the passenger being fatigued, begins to sleep; and the lazy waterman ties the halter of the mule, turned out a-grazing, to a stone, and snores, lying flat on his back. And now the day approached, when we saw the boat made no way; until a choleric fellow, one of the passengers, leaps out of the boat, and drubs the head and sides of both mule and waterman with a willow cudgel. At last we were scarcely set ashore at the fourth hour.47 We wash our faces and hands in thy water, O Feronia. Then, having dined, we crawled on three miles; and arrive under Anxur, which is built upon rocks that look white to a great distance. Maecenas was to come here, as was the excellent Cocceius, both sent embassadors on matters of great importance; having been accustomed to reconcile friends at variance.48 Here, having got sore eyes, I was obliged to use the black ointment. In the mean time came Macenas and Cocceius, and Fonteius Capito49 along with them, a man of perfect polish,50 and intimate with Mark Antony, no man more so.
Without regret we passed Fundi, where Aufidius Luscus was praetor,51 laughing at the honors of that crazy scribe,52 his praetexta, laticlave, and pan of incense.53 At our next stage, being weary, we tarry in the city of the Mamurrae,54 Murena complimenting us with his house,55 and Capito with his kitchen.
